Marginalized

Marginalized:

§  Treat (a person, group, or concept) as insignificant or peripheral, as in attempting to marginalize those who disagree.  (Google)

§  To relegate to an unimportant or powerless position within a society or group. (Merriam Webster)

It’s not surprising to learn from Googling around that more people than ever are using the word marginalized.  It certainly describes my feelings these days. Shortly after I retired five years ago, I decided to reconnect with my local political party.  Before completing a Ph.D. program and taking on a demanding job in a nearby community, I had served the party and city for almost 20 years as an elected member of the Common Council, Chair of the Board of Estimate and Taxation, appointed member and officer of the regional planning association, member of a Charter Revision Commission, member and officer of the party’s town committee, and chair of my district committee. I learned quickly that my interest was misguided.  New party activists who openly practiced age discrimination and less seasoned veterans were in a reform-minded place which seemed to brand anyone who had been around as long as I had, “part of the problem.”

Rules.  Many attempts to win friends and influence people failed.  It wasn’t that I didn’t get a sympathetic ear most of the time, just that others knew what they were going to do, how they were going to do it, and there wasn’t a place for me in the plan. Along the way I experienced a problem with party rules which resulted in a complaint to the state level. I offered to help re-write the party rules with a group that had apparently been working on this for some time but my offer was declined.  I renewed my efforts over the years with no success.  Last fall I volunteered again in response to an email invitation but heard nothing more.   I finally attended a meeting in February 2015.   At this meeting my questions about who else was supposed to be on the committee and whether the leaders had copies of prior complaints to State Central were rebuffed, at one point described as “stupid.” When several of us tried to help by creating a “red-line” version of the work that had been done, we were told it was too confusing.  When a member said angrily that “only certain people should be allowed to serve on this committee,” the other member and I took our cue and left.  The experience gave me insights into the ways some people view rules as a way to control and manipulate.

Race.  I think of social justice and civil rights as a journey not a destination.  It’s not something that can be achieved solely through legislation, proclamation or war. I get it – right now, there is increased tension and unrest in our country.  Unfortunately it seems to have taken needless, tragic deaths to refocus people’s attention on the work that still needs to be done.  There has also been a major change in people of color.  New immigrants from many countries, multi-racial citizens, and Latinos have joined African Americans, who typically have deeper, personal understandings of our country’s flawed history and incomplete civil rights efforts.  Instead of redefining the agenda and beginning the difficult but important work, too many people seem to be stuck in blame. They seem to operate as if old school identity politics is the only way to go.  Unfortunately that leaves people like me on the sidelines, marginalized because of skin color.

Religion.  If current racial tensions are sensitive and painful, it becomes even more confusing and frustrating when religion enters the picture.  What happened to the separation between church and state?  Do people believe that convening prominent, predominantly Christian ministers to lead public community prayers is the best way to move forward with tackling issues of racism, incivility and injustice? What about those of us who feel marginalized by this approach?  Is there any evidence that people who engage in public prayer come away better able to build a more just and civil society, or to deal with interpersonal anger and violence?  While time marches on and school children move from one grade to the next, many who see themselves as disenfranchised seem to spend more time praying, venting and blaming than working with those who might bring wisdom, experience, and talent to dealing with social justice. 

Respect.  For some years I’ve been interested in civility, specifically its erosion in public discourse.  That is why one of my first retirement ventures involved organizing and convening several community conversations about civility:  What does it mean?  How do we experience civility (or lack thereof) in Norwalk?  The past president of the Association of Opinion Journalists joined us one evening, another time the author of “Saving Civility” shared her work. Great conversations, helpful ideas, and it was heartening to hear more people talk about how important civility is, especially for governance and to promote adults serving as role models for young people.  However instead of really thinking about what it takes to change culture and behavior, boards of education, legislatures and councils, even governors began adopting civility guidelines or making public events out of signing civility pledges.  But the walk needs catch up with the talk.  Good public policies need to have some kind of built-in accountability or monitoring system to see if they’re having any impact on how we treat and speak with each other.  The good news, an unscientific analysis suggests people are at least thinking and talking about civility more.

My feelings of marginalization are based on recent personal experiences with rules, race, religion and respect.  These experiences have been powerful, sometimes painful, and often demoralizing.  But at the end of the day I am a positive, resilient person who derives strength from my work with young people and reminding myself of what it means to have come of age in the 60’s.  At the end of the day, this is not about me,  but how my experiences and feelings may be similar to those of many others who are on the path to disengaging from participatory democracy - or sadder yet, who have already opted out.